Thread:Vicki04/@comment-35319541-20180419000507/@comment-35315474-20180420155924

He is a wonderful man. I'm still the one who fixes broken things, does the plumbing, etc, but he does the things that have to be done over and over and over again easy day/week. It's a nice division of tasks that works for both of us.

It was funny because when we first got married, I remember insisting on doing all the laundry because that's what a "wife" chore. Then I wised up. I figured if I hate doing it and he doesn't mind doing it, then why am I insisting on doing it?! From there on, I learned to forgot the traditional husband/wife roles and just let us each do whatever we preferred.

I was married to a man for 3 years before meeting my current husband. He was awful! I did everything! It even got so bad that I had written out a list of chores for each of us, got him to agree and sign it. Then when he didn't do his part, I showed him the list, and he claimed I had forged his signature! WTH?!! Needless to say, I filed for divorce and never ever looked back.

It did take some time to get my husband (current) to give me things like flowers. Like I said, he's a bit on the autism scale so he doesn't understand things related to feelings. He gave me gifts when we were dating, but after that, he just stopped. So now whenever he forgets to give me anything for a special occasion, I go out and buy myself something! When he didn't give me anything for getting my bachelor's degree (graduated in 2011), I bought myself a $2,000 ring! LOL! He now brings me flowers from the grocery store (sigh), but it's still better than nothing. He still doesn't show up for things like surgery without me telling him to. It's not that he's unwilling, but he just doesn't know better. The way his mind works, if he can't actually do anything, there's no point in being there (completely not understanding that just being there is doing something).

I think the worst was when we had been married for about 6-7 years, after I had given birth to my first daughter. I was 107 lbs before getting pregnant, but gained a lot during pregnancy. So after giving birth, I worked very hard and managed to get back down to 123 lbs. We were going to a fancy company Christmas party, and I found a beautiful dress that accented the right places while hiding the flaws (so my boobs were big and it hid my stomach! LOL!). I got all dressed up and felt so good. Came out and did the twirl thing and asked, "How do I look?". His response: "Fine." Fine? Fine?!!! That started a big fight before and after the party. Then he said the worst, "I'm just being honest; you're still overweight." O M G!! It took decades for me to forgive him for that! Not to mention his one-time comment of "had you been overweight when I met you, I would have never asked you out." He was DEAD MEAT for a long time after that!! I've recently gone from 180-185 down to 145, and after 33 years of teaching him how to treat a woman, he now compliments my weight loss and tells me he loves my hair. Hey, it's progress!

No husband is perfect (I'm definitely not a perfect wife!), but I can accept him the way he is. At least he's learned to listen to me, even when he doesn't quite understand. One of my daughters is also teaching him things like, "Dad, when a woman twirls and asks 'how do I look,' you're supposed to tell her she looks fabulous, not just 'nice.'" Oh, men. They're such funny creatures! LOL!

And, yeah, I'm starting to TT. You got me thinking of doing it so when Nisha mentioned how it's done in a thread I was reading, I decided to give it a try, and presto! I was TT!! I won't be the most prolific TTer given that I don't like repetitive actions, but I will most certainly enjoy sending more than just 1 gift a day!

I hope you slept well and have a fabulous day today! 💖💕