Thread:Vicki04/@comment-35145157-20180510191847/@comment-35315474-20180510211211

I sent out 50 passes this morning. Maybe that can best express my thoughts. 😊

What happened yesterday is no one's fault. It has to do with group relations. One famous experiment that brought this to light was the Robber's Cave Experiment. They were able to take two groups of boys who were very similar to each other but did not know each other, put them into separate groups, and create very strong discord between each other. It has to do with in-group and out-group dynamics. It is unavoidable and best to accept it and let it go when it happens.

What we do have control over is our response to it. I think quite a few of us were unprepared for what happened so it really hit us hard. That includes me, as wet.ll. It will take some time for people to feel comfortable again. But once they do and they start posting like normal again, what happened yesterday will be pushed into history where it belongs.

My thoughts are to think of who you are as a person and not let what happened change that. If we allow it to change us, then we give it power. And then we take away all the good we can share with those on here.

Another psychological phenomena at play is referred to as a cognitive distortion (we all have them) in which we see things as all good or all bad (also known as black and white thinking). There is so much good here that I fell into that thinking myself. So when yesterday happened, the bubble got completely shattered! My initial response was to focus on the bad. But the truth is no individual or group is ever all good or all bad. We are all a mixture.

Therefore, I decided that my response would be to not allow yesterday's discord have power over me. I would be who I am. I have friends in both groups. They are my friends because of who they are. I will not change that because of yesterday's conflict — especially when I know that what happened yesterday is psychologically unavoidable and normal.

So here's my main thought. If you allow yesterday to change how you behave, then you give it more power than i believe it deserves and take away all the good you give to so many people on here. That would be the real damage. But once you can let it go, start posting like your normal self, and accept that conflict will happen from time to time, you empower yourself and allow yesterday to dwindle away. The more you do that, the more you will model that behavior to others, and the more everyone will start feeling better.

HG, you are a wonderful and caring person. BE that way. Don't let anything stop you. The sooner you do that, the sooner yesterday will fade away from us all. 💖💖💖💕💕