Thread:Lilboops/@comment-35508590-20181224032242/@comment-35196587-20181225003918

Madlen,

Thank you for posting this.

I am confused. What wasn’t “wholesome” about my last post in that thread? Chase asked for silly jokes. I posted the silliest joke I’d ever heard (from when I was 9 and addicted to The Muppet Show).

Yes, I ignored your conflict. I feel zero need to add to drama by attempting to explain someone else’s words/actions to others. Again, at that time I’d known Paris all of a couple days, and really didn’t know you. Neither of you were my “friends.” You’ll find zero places in the wiki history where I defended her actions. There was literally zero history between Paris and I other than a post where I was giving away collections, and her being a recipient prior to that.

I’d asked you to be game friends prior, you’d declined, and we were not in many threads together, so how on Earth would I have been able to explain anything to anyone, or why would I get involved? And why is my lack of involvement an issue, when others also chose to not get involved?

Following that blow-up I asked Diana about the banning. I asked because not long before, I too got dinged for profanity, and all that happened was I was asked to edit. And then I asked for the thread to be removed because of the edits and screenshot being added. I posted on Diana’s post on Paris’s wall asking her not to leave. I also suggested to Diana antagonizing behaviours are just as detrimental to a community as profanity. I stand by that. I’ll take a curse word over gaslighting all day, every day. People who antagonize then feign surprise when people react can and do cause real harm. Should Paris have resorted to cursing? Of course not. Can I see how and why she did? Yes. Have I seen these antagonizers go after others here resulting in people leaving? Yes.

Paris and I later connected offsite. I told her English wasn’t your first language, and that it looked like a big misunderstanding all around. You clearly already had a support system in place here, given the responses people made. And yes, Paris and I are now friends. She’s kind, albeit blunt. I take no issue with that.

Some seem to think I should have slapped her on the wrist. I think other people had already taken care of that. I am not big on ganging up on people. I always choose to give the benefit of the doubt, even if things get off to a rocky start. It seems my lack of reprimanding a person who was a stranger to me at the time has caused some ruffled feathers.

But that is all neither here nor there. In my view, you tacitly agreed with Deb by saying nothing about the tone of her post, all while explaining how I was the one in the wrong in other posts which had nothing to with Deb or her post. Even with that, I apologized to you. I felt bad that you believed I was choosing a side.

Yes, my husband’s name is Randy, and it took me a bit to figure out what you meant, lol. Anyway, even the Randybobandi thing—not sure why that has become an issue. He wasn’t offended. Why are others?

Maybe your intent wasn’t to hurt, but it did. So your post here took me aback. It didn’t add up, given the above, and what I thought was a lack of response from you.

I am done trying to placate anything other than monsters when it comes to this game. I extended olive branches. I made apologies to people who made derogatory comments my way. But no more. I have a breaking point. I see who is a kind person and I see those who put on the facade of kindness. Like I said, I don’t like conflict, and I particularly don’t like people who seek conflict. I have zero room in my life for negativity. A game that should be an escape shouldn’t be giving me stress. I have a serious heart issue, and I cannot allow myself to get upset or hurt by people here. So that is why I said I was leaving here, not because I “stepped on someone’s feet” or feel I did something wrong.

This has all been a real shame. I like the wiki, and I like most people here, including you. I’m sorry the post is so long, but as you once noted to someone about me, I’m wordy and like writing (though I spend more time in game than here, lol).

Best wishes, Madlen. Mai 2019 bringt ihnen frieden, liebe und gluck. (My German is rudimentary at best). ❤️

Carlene

PS-after 20 years as an editor, typo is a language I speak fluently. 😉