Thread:Bellatrix SN/@comment-39170536-20190617153730/@comment-38946466-20190618141358

Wanted to check in and saw this... I know it is likely impolite but I would like to add a few things and hopefully cheer up all 3 of you!

Bella and Madlen, you are both my wonderful friends, and Mollxty, I don't know you personally, I can see you care about your friends and look like you are a wonderful friend!

This is going to be a bit long winded, bear with me 😁

First off, because of work, I have a lot of experience about strength and weaknesses of different communication methods - emails, posts, calls, video conferences, next to coffee machine etc and also of differences when communciating with people who are not native English speakers. There are also different cultures, for example UK and US people will say and communicate things differently.

The first point is we are all very social and use soffisticated communication skills when coneying information, that include words, tone, intonation, gestures... and all that is lost when typing. Obviously, great writers can convey what they mean but personally, I am not a great writer and also, it is difficult to think of everything somebody might read into your words when trying to make a point. At work, the most efficint way by far is communicating next to coffee machine because that is when you can actually really hear and see everything and everybody is relaxed enough and not self conscious to ask for clarifications.

Here, we sadly don't have the coffee break option which is why I think there are all these miscommunications when we unconciosly assocate some tone and gestures with a writtent statement that might not necessarilly be what the writer intended. At least I do, when I am having a bad day I often imagine that people are having a go at me whatever they say 😳 What can I say, I'm not perfect, but I try to catch myself when I do that and take a break before writing something I might regret later, I just try to check the email I received after a pause to see if it could actually mean something different...

The other point is about language, culture and meaning. I managed to find the following, I am aware a lot of people have been sharing this table as a joke, with a different title, like what UK people say, what thet mean and what Americans/Europeans etc think it means. In my experience it is all true (apart from the dinner thingy, we don't really invite colegues to dinner):

The point here is not that Brittish people lie but that they don't want to be rude. They think that saying that something is bad is rude. My first language is not English and I have been here long enough to understand all the nuances (at least I think so, ahem).

I often need to step in during these international communication and say look if you don't say that something is unacceptable we are not going to get anything changed!

Another example, perhaps more pertinent to these boards. Say some conclusion is incorrect and poster wants to provide that information. These are 2 possible answers.

1. That is incorrect

2. That is not what I am seeing, I have a different experience

Both of these convey the same message and which one is used will depend on how fluent the person is in English, whether they have time to expand or just have a moment etc. I don't read either this as offensive.

Well this was long and tedious, I apologize 😳

Having miscommunication also happens face to face sometimes, I have ended up best friends with a person I thought was very malicious to me and we had a huge fight where each one of us said what they ment when they said something and ... Basically, storm in a teacup and now we are always there for each other even though we ended up in different countries.

I guess I only want to say that this is a game, and we all participate on this wiki because we love it! We also all love our game friends and give the gift of friendship and time generously! I love both of you as friends and also love my non TTer friends, fluff and petals included 🤗🤗🤗

Lastly, dear Mollxty, I am a TTer that sends a lot of passes and I didn't start off like that. I will not be surprised if some friends remove me because of that. Saddened, yes, but that is life, I am certain that my passes can destroy a GB of somebody that plays only on weekends.

I am certain if you write a post on a friend board you will receive quite a lot of friends 😘😘😘

Lets all be friends, if not in game then here on the wiki!