Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-35284508-20180417160128/@comment-34234929-20180420031551

Ty all for your thoughts. Sigh, I have unfortunately been forced to accept that my son is no longer the sweet boy I raised. Even if I wrote him a letter I doubt he would even read it even if I were dead. The only communication we have if you can call it that is through his in laws. His mother and father in law are very kind to me and keep their daughter apprised of my health. He won't even speak to them about me. I have no idea how much of what his wife's parents tell her even reaches him, not because she is withholding information...she is a sweet and kind girl...rather that I just don't think my son will even speak to his wife about me. His in-laws are careful to never say anything disparaging about him and always come check on me at the hospital even staying the night some times. I can tell it bothers them that he gas taken his Banishment of his own mother to this extreme but as I said they never really say anything except maybe just give him "time". The only thing is that I don't have "time" because of a genetic disease I have surgery for anything is out of the question. It's just to dangerous. So any treatment I receive will be palative to decrease my pain and hopefully extend my time somewhat. However on top of everything my Inferior vena cava, a major vessel that supplies the heart is beginning to narrow and my heart is enlarged. I'm already starting to feel some of the effects like my legs swelling, a cough out of nowhere and my first bout of pneumonia in years. I'm a registered nurse and was months away from becoming a nurse practitioner before I became ill so I unfortunately know what is in store for me. Sigh, sometimes knowledge is a b. I often wish I had not a clue as to how this will all play out. I don't know what happened to the sweet boy I raised. I'm sure I'm in some major way involved, but nothing I have done in the past merits the punishment he puts me through now. None the less I still love him unconditionally. I just hope he will have, if not a change of heart, then a mild thawing of his heart and start to forgive me. But my son who is literally a genius, and I do mean genius, is like a stubborn ass mule and once he decides something most times there is no changing his mind. The more I try the more he digs in and resists. So, I have had to come to the bitter realization that I have no choice but to accept his choice. Because if I don't the stress, the extreme sadness that feels like a literal weight is just going to cause what time I have left to be even shorter and more miserable. So I totally understand that sometimes even though it feels as if you are cutting off one of your own limbs you just have to let go. I hope my son will have a happy life. I hope my daughter will grow up a bit and not just call when she needs money. But I will admit that until I take my last, I will still hope. Anyways. MyTona......in the meantime please fix these dang problems with the game lol. Christie