Thread:Whyisthissohard1/@comment-37542647-20200105033947/@comment-44798646-20200105183518

Thanks Cheryl. I was actually thinking I should try really really hard to stop “being me”. Since I figured out how to register on here, I went to some peoples spots to just kinda see what’s what. I felt mortified! The most personal thing I saw was that you do needlepoint, which I love by the way, and that Portia had car trouble one day. Not exactly health, kid and cheating spouse info! I just have open mouth-flood come out and apparently, open ipad & finger go nuts. Every post is just about the game with maybe a tiny quip or so inserted that shows a bit of personality. Someone wrote that people shared about life and I grossly misunderstood & just ran with it in overdrive! Of course, I probably would’ve anyway. It just feels fake to me, disingenuous, insincere, idk the right word but, it’s hard for me to limit myself like that. My sisters always telling me that nobody cares about my “wordiness” or “emotions” when writing stuff, or talking for that matter. She’s much better. She’s very type A and spent years in the business world, she had to be. I’m afraid I’m the same in every venue. I find it very hard to be “professional” too. Do my job, take care of business, yes, (but my business was people when I could work), but that stand off, non personal, just the facts ma’am, only...eh, not so much. I really really stink at that, try as I might. It seems rude to me, mean...I think the machines were on defect when I came out. I was born early, maybe that’s why...

I wrote “thanks” on a reply and I felt like I was being so rude! It was so hard, but I did it😃👆I figure, maybe people just want to play the game and escape from people.most have people in real life.

Anyway, thanks for being sweet. I guess Sophie doesn’t talk much but I bet she conveys quite a bit. Dogs...animals are quite intuitive, well, most of them, some are just dingy. Our old kitty who died😭 didn’t speak for the first 7 years we had her. I think because she didn’t need anything. Then, she only spoke if I didn’t fill her bowl fast enough. She laid next to my son wherever he lay, for 12 years, like a guard dog, she even wagged her tail, seriously 😁, and did not stop purring a minute of her life until the day before she died✋That’s how I knew it was time, she was in pain, jaw cancer, it was awful!😿 But from the time my son was 2 to 14, she was his best and only friend, and I believe she understood. I believe she knew he was special. She never once growled, hissed, bit, nothing(to anyone actually-she taught several people to not fear cats) and he was a toddler & kid w adhd, explosive meltdowns & O.D.D., to go along w his Autism. Never once!

Seriously. He was calm with her energy, she just purred and flopped over and laid there, wherever he was and at night, laid on his bed, around his body or his head, on his pillow, guarding him. She was a big, fat orange tabby so sometimes the fought over the pillow...he wiggled so much, she was usually still on it in morning but still close to him. We still miss her and he still hasn’t forgiven me for making a choice I had no choice but to make... Our fur babies are special. I could use the snuggles of one now but my son can’t bear the thought, he’s not ready, she was very very special.

I’m sure your Sophie is just as special and provides sweet snuggles (&probably a little drool🐶) when you’re doing your needle work. That’s a very admirable skill indeed! Hard! It takes a lot of skill to be good at it. I have desire but no knowledge or skill. I bet you’ve made some beautiful pieces over the years! I also have extreme tendinitis (which is why I hit accept all sometimes which apparently is a bad thing? But on ipad, going thru 500 touches, it can be 1000,s a day if I tt, is hard but if I know who wants what I’ll try, it’s just hard to keep straight and some think they’re the only one🤭🤩Ha). I wish I could do it so I got an embroidery machine but I don’t know how to use it yet and not able yet but it’s a goal👍.

I don’t mean to be me me me but I don’t ask questions to not be nosy, not because I’m not interested, I am, very much. I just know, I actually do, that it’s the internet and people have their own level of comfort. I’m cool with that. I don’t actually think others are rude or whatever, it’s just how I feel personally. I respect how each person has their own traits. We’re all a product of our environment, cultures, personalities and experiences. I agree very much, as you said, that we all could learn a lot from each other and if we could approach things with openness and respect. But, again, I’m weird.

Well, I’ve done it again. Intended to not and wrote another pointless novel that has no place here.